Overheard in a bookstore

Overheard in a bookstore last night:

“So I’d been having this pain in my left arm, and I went to see my doctor, my @#$!#%! Kaiser doctor, and he tells me it’s tendonitis. I didn’t think it was, so I talked to my old roommate, who’s this really good internist, and he tells me, ‘Man, you’re sitting on a heart attack there.’ And sure enough, a few weeks later I had a heart attack. The thing was, I was seeing my doctor when it happened. So there I was in his office having a heart attack, and he just keeps telling me it’s tendonitis and doing this chiropractic massage on my arm. So after I left his office, my wife drove me over to the emergency room, and I told them I thought this doctor had broken my arm with his massage, and they told me, ‘No, you just had a heart attack.’ So anyway, after that I run into my friend, and he’s got a big piece missing out of his head, and I say, ‘What happened? It looks like someone took a bite out of your head,’ and he says he had to have surgery for a brain aneurysm. So I start telling him about my experience with Doctor So-and-so, and he says, ‘Doctor So-and-so? Doctor So-and-so should be shot!’ So he had the same doctor, who told him his problem was a migraine! So later when I saw this doctor … what? Yeah, I kept seeing him after that. With Kaiser you don’t really have any choice. Anyway, this doctor got fired, but not because he can’t tell when a patient is having a heart attack right in front of him. No, this woman went to see him because she was having headaches, and he told her to take off her blouse and bra, and she reported him. So that’s America for you. Matters of life or death, nobody does anything, but if it’s got anything to do with sex, then bam, that’s it.”