Audrey Niffenegger gave a terrific talk. She was a lot quirkier than I had been imagining. (In a good way.) She listed among her interests comic books and taxidermy, and when asked to recommend authors, the first one she named was Kelly Link. I was impressed enough that I ended up shelling out for a print version of The Time Traveler’s Wife so I could have her sign it, even though I’d already paid for and listened to the audiobook version. (I listened to it while bicycling around the Netherlands, which as far as I’m concerned is just about the perfect way to experience an audiobook.)

Yesterday I went over to the Hammer museum to see readings by some of the authors listed by Granta as the best young (under 35) fiction writers. Oddly, my name doesn’t seem to appear on the list anywhere. Must be a typo. Anyway, the readings were fun. Tonight I think I’m going to head over to Vroman’s to try to see Chuck Palanhuik, though I have a feeling the place is going to be mobbed.

I got my contract from Realms of Fantasy for “Transformations.” The story is (tentatively) scheduled for the December 2007 issue.

I’m planning to go see Audrey Niffenegger (author of The Time Traveler’s Wife) tomorrow at Santa Monica college. (Details.) If anyone else goes, come say hi to me.

I just noticed that there’s a trailer out for The Itty Bitty Titty Committee, and I’m in it! At fifty seconds, during a brief shot of a protest, watch the left side of the screen.

Last week, while I was eating lunch at USC, a student approached me and asked if I’d be willing to be a research subject for an experiment involving the Nintendo Wii. I said sure. The experiment involved me trying to answer questions and solve word problems while playing Wii Tennis. I’d never played Wii before, but I went undefeated at Wii Tennis. (I was the only research subject to do so, according to the students running the experiment.) I was told to make my in-game character look as much like myself as possible. So, as instructed, I spent five minutes carefully and artistically constructing a devilishly handsome tennis player who looked exactly like me — except for the fact that I have arms and my head is not the same size as the rest of my body put together. But then I wasn’t allowed to play with the guy I’d created, and instead had to play with a character who looked nothing like me. I guess part of the experiment was gauging the effect of playing with a character who didn’t look like you. To quote the research subject student at the beginning of Ghostbusters: “The effect? I’ll tell you what the effect is! It’s pissing me off!”

Tonight I tried to go see street magician Criss Angel at Book Soup in West Hollywood. I have never actually watched Angel’s TV show, Mindfreak, but I was curious to see how a professional showman handles an author appearance. I thought maybe I could pick up some pointers. For example, would my readings be more engaging if I read my stories while levitating? I imagined at least fifty people would show up, and since Book Soup in West Hollywood has room to seat about eight, I figured I’d better show up early. Alas, I dramatically underestimated Angel’s popularity. I got to the store an hour and a half early, but there were still about forty people ahead of me in line. I decided I wasn’t going to get a seat, and chose instead to stroll the Sunset Strip. When I came back two hours later, people (many of them wearing Mindfreak T-shirts) were still lined up around the block. This made me think of something I learned at the Literary Marketplace panel my program hosted last week. The literary agent guest talked about the importance, particularly if you want to write nonfiction, of having a “platform” — that is, a pre-existing audience for your book. She explained that if, for example, you have your own TV show, publishers are more likely to publish your book and readers are more likely to buy it. I thought that this was great, practical advice for someone like me. Now all I need is my own TV show.

The interview I did for Podible Paradise is now up. Also, check out my website’s newly expanded Media page.

Just a reminder that tomorrow at 4:30 p.m. in Santa Clarita I’ll be on a panel to discuss Ray Bradbury and science fiction. My co-panelists will be Larry Niven, Harry Turtledove, Steven Gould, David Gerrold, and Sheila Finch. More info here.

Tonight I went to see Harlan Ellison at the Writers Guild Foundation in Beverly Hills. They showed a new documentary about Ellison entitled Dreams with Sharp Teeth, which was followed by a Q&A and then a reception. It was my first trip over to the WGF, and it was a lot of fun. I’m definitely going to try to check out more of their events. One highlight was when I happened to glance up and notice that Ronald D. Moore was sitting right across the aisle from me.

I also really enjoyed the reading I went to last week — Etgar Keret at the Skirball Cultural Center. Keret read three very short fiction pieces interspersed with a lot of funny chat and anecdotes. For example, he talked about how he first started writing: He had been drafted into the Israeli army and was a terrible soldier, so they stuck him with the lonely and monotonous task of watching over a supercomputer to report if anything went wrong with it, but nothing ever did. One day, bored out of his mind, he typed up a short short on the computer. When his shift ended, he printed out the story and went over to his brother’s apartment. His brother agreed to read the story while walking the dog. When his brother finished reading, Etgar asked, “Is it good?,” and his brother said, “Oh yeah, yeah, it’s great. Just terrific.” Then his brother said, “Could you print out another copy of this?” Etgar, brimming with pride, said, “Sure! No problem.” “Great,” his brother said, and used the story to scoop up the dog poop.

Michael Bishop’s son Jamie was one of the victims at Virginia Tech. I met Michael once, at ICFA. I was 19, it was my first convention of any sort, and I didn’t know anyone. Michael really went out of his way to take me under his wing and make me feel welcome, and I have always remembered him as being one of the kindest, most generous, and most likeable human beings I have ever met.

My friend Adam and I, having re-watched Casino Royale and Mission Impossible 3 in close succession, recently concluded that defribillators can apparently be used to cure any medical condition. Then when we went to pick up his girlfriend at LAX, what should we spot but … a defribillator! We looked around for someone in need of medical attention that we could try it out on, but alas, everyone looked relatively healthy. (“What seems to be the problem, ma’am?” “Oh, I’m fine. I just feel a bit dizzy all of a sudden.” “No problem, this’ll fix you right up. CLEAR!”)

Just got word that my story “Transformations” will be published by Realms of Fantasy!!!

Here’s a quick recap on some things I wanted to blog about recently but didn’t get a chance:

On my flight out of New York, two guys in business suits were sitting in the seats right in front of me. One of them was wearing enormous headphones. A flight attendant came by and asked the guy to remove the headphones during takeoff. The guy took off his headphones, waited until the flight attendant had passed, then put them back on again. When the flight attendant came by again, she asked him again to remove them. He claimed that his audio player was turned off. She said he’d still have to remove the headphones. He said sharply, “What’s the reason for that?” The flight attendant said, “I’m sorry, it’s just policy.” The guy grumbled, “That doesn’t make any sense at all.” The flight attendant explained, “I think it’s because headphones like that block sound, and if there was an emergency during takeoff, they want you to be able to hear instructions.” I thought that actually sounded like a pretty good reason, and I expected the guy to concede. Instead, the guy next to him got in the action with a loud and angry, “Oh, so I suppose that means deaf people aren’t allowed to ride this airline?” Huh? The flight attendant was visibly shocked and said, “Oh, sir. Please.” That same guy said, “I’ve never heard that rule before on any other airline that I’ve flown on. Never.” The two guys harangued the flight attendant for another minute or so before finally relenting and settling down to commiserate over how badly they’d been treated. Seriously, some people.

Around L.A., you see an incredible number of car wrecks, but driving to Pasadena last week I passed the worst one I’ve seen yet. I literally came up a hill and said to myself, “Wow, if I didn’t know better I’d say that was an entire car engine just lying by itself in the middle of the road.” Well, that’s exactly what it was. A short time later I passed the car, or what was left of it, its front looking like the roots of a tree that’s just been yanked out of the ground.

In the bookstore recently I spotted what may be the best cover I’ve ever seen, the cover to young Israeli author Etgar Keret’s short story collection The Nimrod Flip-Out. The cover caught my eye, I read the first story, loved it, and bought the collection. I’ve been carrying it around with me, and I’ve noticed that everyone who sees the cover takes an immediate interest in the book. I hope someday I get a cover like that. The book does not actually feature a guy in a bunny suit going on a rampage with a shotgun (unfortunately), but that cover still does a pretty good job of capturing the screwball tone of the stories. The stories are very short, each about three or four pages, which is great because it makes me feel very productive. (“Wow, I read three short stories in just the last ten minutes!”)

Today’s been quite a day for me and podcasting news. Two exciting developments to report:

My story “Save Me Plz” will be appearing on Escape Pod.

And …

Steve Gould will be interviewing me for Podible Paradise, a podcast associated with the Viable Paradise writers workshop.

The Slushmaster just posted the Table of Contents for the June 2007 issue of Realms of Fantasy magazine. It looks like my story “Save Me Plz” won’t be appearing quite yet.

           My friend Andrea Kail now has her own website:

 
I previously announced that I was invited to take part in a panel discussion on the literary influence of Ray Bradbury. The panel will be on April 21st at 4:30 p.m. at the Newhall Community Center in Santa Clarita. (22421 Market Street, Newhall, CA 91321.)

Well, I just found out who my co-panelists will be. Steven Gould (whose novel Jumper is currently being made into a major motion picture starring Hayden Christenson, Samuel L. Jackson, and Diane Lane), Harry Turtledove, Larry Niven, David Gerrold, and Sheila Finch. Wowsers. I hope to see some of you there.

I’m afraid I found the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie to be a bit of a bummer, dude. I was a huge TMNT fan back in the day, so maybe I had unrealistic expectations, but I was expecting something comparable in quality to The Incredibles, which TMNT definitely isn’t. It does have some awesome visuals, such as the rooftop duel in the rain, but the story and writing are standard Saturday-morning-cartoon stuff. I was also expecting the movie to be aimed primarily at 20- and 30-somethings who have fond childhood memories of the turtles, but this is strictly a kids movie.

The June 2007 issue of Realms of Fantasy magazine, which will hopefully include my story “Save Me Plz,” should be out sometime in the next few weeks. If anyone spots a copy, please let me know. Alan Smale’s story “A Trade in Serpents” should also be appearing in that issue, and you can check out Tony Shasteen’s illustration for it here.

Well, I don’t care what anyone else says, 300 gets 300 dead Spartan thumbs up from me. I saw it twice. If I’m going to pay $14 to see a film projected on a giant wall, I expect some serious spectacle, and this movie definitely delivered. I’m also partial to historical dramas, particularly wildly over-the-top and inaccurate ones. In fact, I kind of dislike plausibility in any form. I prefer stories that create their own twisted reality, the less literal similarity to this one the better. I also can’t help feeling that people who are criticizing the movie for its dumbness or politics are not in on the joke. Of course, I may just have a special affinity for this material seeing as I too was raised from an early age to be a wolf-slaying, rhinocerous-gouging badass with an incredible chest.

I made it back to L.A. this morning, took a nap, and now I’m off to my humor writing class. Later.