My grandfather Roger Barr passed away early this morning at the age of 98. He was my mom’s father, and was my last surviving grandparent. He was being cared for by my uncle Steve (his son) and aunt Denice — both medical professionals — and was still sharp and good-humored in his final days. Yesterday Steph Grossman and I got word that he had become unresponsive, and we were able to speak to him one last time via phone. Hopefully he was aware of us at some level, even if he couldn’t answer. Roger served in the Pacific during World War II, translating Japanese communications. He got engaged to my grandmother, Ruth, shortly before leaving for the war, and they were married for over 70 years, until her death in 2014. They lived almost that entire time in Sacramento, California, where Roger ran a small optometry shop and Ruth worked as his office manager. They were heavily involved with their local Unitarian church, and were regulars at a local Scottish dance group. Both of them were big readers. Ruth ran a book club for decades, and one of Roger’s proudest possessions was a leather-bound set of the complete works of Shakespeare that he spent several months saving up for as a young man. He was particularly interested in religion, and was always talking about the latest Biblical scholarship. I remember him once mentioning offhandedly that he had read the Book of Mormon several times for fun. He was also an avid hiker and fitness fanatic. Most mornings he would walk down the block to the local school and run five miles around the soccer field. He would spend weeks at a stretch backpacking in national parks, and even into his 90s he was still regularly climbing to the top of a nearby hill, carrying a backpack full of bricks (because doing it without the bricks was too easy). He was probably the most cheerful, happy-go-lucky person I’ve ever met, and his unbridled optimism almost led to disaster on any number of occasions. (His backpacking stories were full of occasions when he got caught in a blizzard, buried in an avalanche, almost fell off a cliff, faced off with a wildcat, killed a rattlesnake with his walking stick, etc.) Ruth accompanied him on many of these trips, and after he retired they circled the United States in an RV several times. As recently as last year Roger was still getting regular exercise, riding a recumbent tricycle around the parking lot of his assisted living facility. I’m sad that he’s gone, but he certainly lived a life that’s about as long, healthy, happy, and rich in experience as it’s possible to have. He is survived by his four children, six grandchildren, and one great-grandson.
Noah Manners
So I had an unpleasant encounter at the movies this weekend. At a Saturday night screening of Noah the guy in the row ahead of me and a couple seats over was using his smart phone through the first ten minutes of the movie. The glare from it was as bright as the film itself and incredibly distracting. Finally I leaned over and hissed, “Could you turn off your phone please?” He didn’t hear me. I tapped the back corner of his seat and repeated myself. (It would probably be fair to say that I tapped his seat harder than I intended, and my “tap” could reasonably be described as a “swat.”) He turned his phone off, then a moment later glared at me and growled in a dim-witted bully voice, “Don’t hit me again, do you understand?” He definitely sounded ready to fight. I said, “Yes,” and he turned back to the screen. He spent the rest of the movie talking and gesturing emphatically at the screen, seemingly exasperated and confused by the movie. I spent the rest of the movie tense and distracted, wondering if any further conflict would ensue. (At times like these you can’t help but think of Chad Oulson.) Fortunately it didn’t, but the movie was ruined for me, as was my mood for many hours afterward.
Today I spent several hours googling phrases like “glowing phone movie” to see what other people think about this sort of thing. Plenty of people are as aggravated about it as I am. Every movie screening at every theater I’ve ever seen has warned the audience not to talk or text during the movie. This particular screening featured not one but two animated shorts devoted to asking people to turn off their phones. One of these shorts features the theater’s mascot as a superhero blasting giant phones out of the sky. Obviously people watch these messages hundreds of times, so they’re hardly unaware that they’re being rude and annoying everyone around them, but they do it anyway, I guess because they’re just selfish, obnoxious dicks. The question is, is there anything you can do about it?
You can try to politely ask people to stop, but in my experience this is only intermittently successful, and risks an ugly confrontation, especially if as in my case your irritation overwhelms your attempts to be civil. I’ve seen various other strategies aired online. You can move away from the annoying person. (Though this can be a real pain and may not be practical in a crowded theater like the one I was at on Saturday.) You can complain to the theater staff. (Though this means missing a good chunk of the movie, and seems unlikely to have much effect.) You can walk out of the movie and ask for a refund. (Even if you get the refund you’ve wasted a lot of time and energy going to the theater.) I’ve seen other more severe strategies proposed, such as “pretending” to spill a drink on the offending filmgoer or taking their phone from them by force, but none of these seem particularly attractive options.
It would be nice if theaters would do something about the problem. The Alamo Draft House in Austin has a zero-tolerance policy toward talking or texting during the movie that sounds pretty good. (They even use the fact that dipshits complain about this policy as a selling point.) I don’t know if there’s anything like that in New York, but if there is I’d love to know about it. The Oatmeal has a funny take on theater design which actually contains some pretty good ideas, such as theaters giving you the option of plugging in noise-canceling headphones like you can on an airplane.
Other options include going to movies only during times and dates that you expect the theater to be mostly empty, or just not going to the movies at all. (I actually mostly stayed away from theaters for several years because I’d had so many evenings ruined by obnoxious audiences.)
It would be nice if there were some sort of private club where you could go to watch movies with other filmgoers who are committed to not talking or texting. Membership would be based on a proven track record of good manners, and could be revoked at the drop of a hat if someone lit up a smart phone during the show.
Top 10 Geeky YouTube Videos
In Episode 91 of Geek’s Guide to the Galaxy we discussed our favorite geeky YouTube videos. Here’s my Top 10:
1. Short film “They’re Made Out of Meat”
2. “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury” music video
3. Richard Dawkins and Douglas Adams TV Appearance
4. Animated short “Noah’s Ark” by NonStampCollector
5. “Danger Planet” animated short
6. Animated short of H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Terrible Old Man”
7. Animated Short “Defective Robot”
8. Animated short “Reach” by Luke Randall
9. Warren Spector interviews Richard Garriott about his game design career
10. Roger Zelazny reads an inside-joke sf story at a convention. (Only video of Zelazny I’ve ever found.)
Felicia Day Issues a Geek Call to Arms
In Episode 91 of my book podcast we interview Felicia Day and discuss the geekiest YouTube videos.
Alpha Workshop Readings 2013
If you’re in the Pittsburgh area, come out and see me at Barnes & Noble on July 14th & 17th. You’ll also have a chance to meet authors Tamora Pierce, Scott Westerfeld, and Justine Larbalestier.
The Shining Girls Is The Time Traveler’s Wife, Plus Stabbing
Episode 89 of my book podcast is up now at Wired.com! In this show we interview Lauren Beukes and talk psycho killers with guest geek Ross Lockhart.
Humans May Become Tentacled Monsters, and That’s OK
Episode 88 of my book podcast is up now at Wired.com! In this show we interview Annalee Newitz, editor of io9, and discuss rationalism in science fiction with guest geek Julia Galef.
Alaya Dawn Johnson’s The Summer Prince Blends Human Sacrifice, Samba
Episode 87 of my book podcast is up now on Wired.com! In this show we interview Alaya Dawn Johnson and discuss Star Trek Into Darkness with guest geeks E.C. Myers and Emily Asher-Perrin.
Penguin Bets Big That The 5th Wave Will Be the Next Hunger Games
Episode 86 of my sci-fi podcast is up now at Wired.com! In this show we interview Rick Yancey, author of The 5th Wave, and discuss science fiction podcasting with Mur Lafferty.
Horror Writer Joe Hill Goofs on His Dad Stephen King in NOS4A2
Episode 85 of my sci-fi podcast is up now at Wired.com! In this show we interview horror writer Joe Hill and talk recent horror movies with Wattpad sensation Brittany Geragotelis.
Austin Grossman Hopes You Will Reveal the Truth About the Game Industry
Episode 84 of my sci-fi podcast is now up at Wired.com! In this show we talk video games with Austin Grossman (writer on Dishonored) and Ted Kosmatka (writer at Valve).
Hugh Howey Goes From Bookstore Clerk to Self-Publishing Superstar
In Episode 83 of my science fiction podcast we interview self-publishing phenomenon Hugh Howey and discuss the pros and cons of self-publishing with guest geek Tobias Buckell.
Robert J. Sawyer to Adapt His Novel Triggers for the Big Screen
Episode 82 of my science fiction podcast is now up at Wired.com. In this show we interview Canadian science fiction author Robert J. Sawyer. Then stick around after the interview as guest geek Matt London joins us to discuss the controversy surrounding Games Workshop trademarking the term “space marine.”
Nalo Hopkinson’s New Novels Bring the Mojo
Episode 81 of my science fiction podcast is now up at Wired.com. In this show we interview Nalo Hopkinson and discuss the weirdest movies ever with guest geek Matt London.
Wicked Author Gregory Maguire is Headed Out of Oz
Episode 80 of my science fiction podcast is now up at Wired.com! In this show we interview Gregory Maguire, author of Wicked, and discuss The Wizard of Oz with guest geek Douglas Cohen.
Karen Russell’s Vampires in the Lemon Grove Is a Darkly Surreal Treat
Episode 79 of my science fiction podcast is up at Wired.com. In this show we interview Karen Russell, author of Swampandia!, and discuss the weirdest stories ever with guest geek Lynne M. Thomas.
Facebook Advertising Problems: Facebook Can’t Do Math
So Facebook has a ridiculous new policy that promoted images can’t be comprised of more than 20% text. With that in mind I put together the image below. It’s 840 pixels tall. 20% of 840 is 168. The image consists of three text bars that are 74, 41, and 41 pixels tall, for a total of 156. So even if you count the entire height and width of each text bar as “text,” the image is still clearly less than 20% text. Nevertheless, this image was just rejected for being “more than 20% text.” Very frustrating.
Author Jane Yolen Talks Book Banning and Harry Potter
Episode 78 of my science fiction podcast is now up at Wired.com! In this show we interview Jane Yolen and discuss swordfights with author and fencer Kat Howard.
Brandon Sanderson Completes Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time Fantasy Series
Episode 77 of my science fiction podcast is now up at Wired.com. In this show we interview Brandon Sanderson about finishing Robert Jordan’s epic fantasy series The Wheel of Time and discuss movie adaptations of the work of Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan the Barbarian.
Philip Pullman is Planning on Going Silent
Episode 76 of my science fiction podcast is now up at Wired.com. In this show we interview Philip Pullman, author of The Golden Compass, and discuss the new Hobbit movie with Corey Olsen, host of the popular podcast The Tolkien Professor.
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