Going shopping at the local grocery store here involves running a gauntlet of surly vagrants, so I tend not to turn my back on anyone in the parking lot. But I subconsciously assumed that the black guy in the expensive suit chatting with someone in a convertible was okay. I got in my car, and before I could close the door this guy was leaning in and offering me his hand to shake. He said, “Hey man, you speak English? I’m Robert.” I didn’t really see that I had much choice, so I shook his hand. He seemed way too well-dressed and well-groomed to be a mugger, so I figured he was probably going to try to convert me. He could tell I was apprehensive, and was like, “I’m okay, man. See, that’s my jag right there.” A jaguar was parked facing me. The guy said, “That’s mine. I’m okay. Really. I hang out with the Lakers. I’m on my way to a job fair.” He patted his pockets. “But, man, I forgot my wallet and I’ve looked all over my car and I can’t find any change and I’m almost out of gas. Could you help me out?” I said, “What do you need?” And he said, “A few bucks for gas.” At that moment I was about 50% sure it was a scam, though I wondered why a scammer who’d managed to finagle a suit and possibly a jaguar (I wasn’t totally convinced it was actually his) would bother with me in my gym clothes and 10-year-old car with no hubcaps. But I was so overjoyed at the prospect that I wasn’t getting mugged or proselytized and that I could buy my way out of this for just a few bucks that I was glad to give it to him, especially if maybe he was telling the truth. He was so grateful and effusive that it almost made it worth it even if it was a scam. He got in the jaguar and drove off, so it was really his. Now that I’ve had more time to consider it, I’m more than 50% sure it was a scam. It seems pretty unlikely that someone would just happen to be that low on gas and have no money and be on his way to a job fair. Plus I think the guy’s delivery was just too polished. So what does he do, drive around to parking lots all day doing that? I don’t know.
Geeks Guide to the Galaxy
Geek's Guide to the Galaxy is a podcast hosted by author David Barr Kirtley and produced by Lightspeed Magazine editor John Joseph Adams. The show features conversations about fantasy & science … Read more
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