Ohboyohboyohboy. WORLD CUP ACTION STARTS TODAY!!! YEEAAGGHHH!!! RRAAAWWWRRRR!!! RRRRRR!!!!
Sure, you may be saying, “Dave, why all the excitement? Doesn’t this so-called football merely consist of ninety minutes of a bunch of grown men running around in the grass trying to kick a rubber ball into a net … and failing. Isn’t it true that any time it looks like someone might actually do something interesting he gets fouled or called offsides?” But that just shows what a stupid American you are. If you were here in Europe like me, you’d understand what it is that makes this game worth rioting over.
At the grocery store, every magazine has something World Cup-related on the cover (even, no joke, National Geographic). Here in the Netherlands, people display the color orange to show their national spirit. The streets are clogged with orange pennons, and, I shit you not, adult-size orange lion costumes are on sale everywhere. Sure, buy it for the World Cup, but wear it year round.
If you’re in the U.S. and want to get in on World Cup fever, I’d say that your best bet is probably to wake up at 4:00 a.m. and tune into ESPN 8 (“The Ocho”).
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