So last night I went to a documentary and panel discussion on cosmetic surgery in America. Unfortunately, somebody went and alerted the football team to the fact that the college has lecture halls, and a sizable contingent of them showed up, sat in the back, and joked loudly and catcalled throughout the whole panel. I was sitting close to the front, and I could still barely hear the panelists, who had microphones. I felt really embarrassed for USC. Apparently the fact that these guys are all headed off for the NFL has given them the sadly mistaken impression that they’re not just a bunch of hosers. I would have gone over there are kicked their asses, except that they outweighed me by a collective 150,000 pounds. Finally one girl in the audience went off on them, which succeeded in shutting them up for about three minutes. Anyway, I was pissed enough that I’m now boycotting SC football games. Not that I would ever go anyway.
Then I had a run-in with an overzealous gate security officer. It was late, and I had popped over to Subway for a sandwich, then tried to return to the parking garage. The guy at the gate stopped me and asked, “What building are you headed to?” I wasn’t headed to any building. I was just planning to sit out by the fountain (the only safe outdoor area within 30 miles) and eat my sandwich before heading home. I said, probably foolishly, “Oh, I’m just hanging out.” He frowned and said suspiciously, “I don’t know about this ‘hanging out.'” I said, “Is that a problem? I’m a student.” “Oh no, no problem,” he said, in a tone implying that there was a problem and that I probably had a dead body in my trunk, “as long as let me take down your license plate.” I was like, “Okay, whatever.” He made a big production of taking down my license plate. Gosh, I hope he doesn’t run my plates and find out that I’m wanted for a notorious spree of hangings-out on campuses all over the country. Then he was like, “Just make sure you’re gone by 6:00 a.m., or I’m going to be pissed.” (My permit doesn’t allow me to park on campus from 6:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m.) I was like, “Yeah, whatever.” What a tool. I guess from now on instead of “Hanging out” I’ll be “Going to the library.”
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