Overheard by me recently at Venice Beach:
A tall middle-aged guy wearing khaki shorts and a collared T-shirt holds hands with his attractive wife as they stroll along. They pass a cluster of homeless guys sprawled on the grass. One of the homeless guys, who is obviously intoxicated and has a biker look going on, shouts, “Wow, man! You are one lucky dude! Man, you are luckiest guy in … this whole place! Damn!” Oddly enough, the guy and his wife do not seem particularly grateful for the compliment.
Two homeless guys are engaged in a verbal altercation. One of the homeless guys is missing one leg and is a wheelchair. He shouts several obscenities, then concludes, “I’ll a kick your ass!” The other guy says, “Oh yeah? Well … ” (A painfully long pause ensues.) ” … How … are you going to do that, huh? You … only got one leg! You’ll … fall over you try to kick my ass, ha!”
A sinewy white homeless woman dressed like Cindy Lauper is chatting with a huge shirtless black guy on rollerblades. The woman says, “They just let me out.” The guy says, “What were you in for?” The woman says, “Fightin’. I’m always fightin’. I been in fourteen fights just the past couple months.” The guy: “Where you do that?” The woman: “Here, Inglewood … ” The guy: “You fight those black girls down in Inglewood?” The woman: “I’ll fight anyone — black girls, white girls, chicanos. It don’t matter.”
A guy who has a long, puffy white beard and is wearing white robes approaches a pair of construction workers and says, “Good news, brothers! Jesus walks the earth again!” One of the construction guys says skeptically, “He does, huh?” The robed guy: “Yup!” The construction guy: “Are you him?” The robed guy shakes his head and says, “Oh, no.” The construction guy mutters, “Good,” obviously relieved that at least the robed guy isn’t that crazy. The robed guy adds, “No, I’m his brother, James.”
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