Are you in a publishing office and you’re totally bewildered about why 15-year-old boys don’t read fiction books? Well, your prayers have been answered, in the form of this young man, who possesses a charming English accent and also a striking inability to focus his attention for more than five seconds, who’s here to provide a from-the-trenches report on this urgent issue, in a bold piece of investigative journalism entitled: Fiction books suck, including harry potter.
Okay, I admit it’s a bit incoherent at times. For example, how does he know that all the fiction books being published these days suck if he’s only read one in the past four years? And does he really want more books based on real life when his real life apparently consists of posting tirades about his English homework on YouTube? And yeah, maybe it’s true that he’s just venting his personal feelings about a subject that he knows nothing about (in which case maybe he has a bright future ahead of him reviewing horror or science fiction for The New York Times). Still, I have to say that I’m with this kid on some of this stuff. Like when authors “bog us down with all this description … ‘while translucent golden light filled the landscape.'” Yeah, I hate that crap too. Also, I agree that it really wouldn’t be a bad idea if more authors would stop wasting our time and would just go ahead and kill someone on page one.
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