Some of the best writing advice I ever got I came across in Roger Zelazny’s essay “Constructing a Science Fiction Novel,” which appeared in his short story collection Frost & Fire. On the subject of describing characters he writes:
“How much can the mind take in at one gulp? See the character entirely but mention only three things, I decided. Then quit and get on with the story. If a fourth characteristic sneaks in easily, okay. But leave it at that intially. No more. Trust that other features will occur as needed, so long as you know. ‘He was a tall, red-faced kid with one shoulder lower than the other.’ Were he a tall, red-faced kid with bright blue eyes (or large-knuckled hands or storms of freckles upon his cheeks) with one shoulder lower than the other, he would actually go out of focus a bit rather than grow clearer in the mind’s eye. Too much detail creates sensory overload, impairing the reader’s ability to visualize.”
I was reminded of this advice while reading over this description of Abraham Van Helsing from Bram Stoker’s Dracula:
“A man of medium weight, strongly built, with his shoulders set back over a broad, deep chest and a neck well balanced on the trunk as the head is on the neck. The poise of the head strikes me at once as indicative of thought and power. The head is noble, well-sized, broad, and large behind the ears. The face, clean-shaven, shows a hard, square chin, a large resolute, mobile mouth, a good-sized nose, rather straight, but with quick, sensitive nostrils, that seem to broaden as the big bushy brows come down and the mouth tightens. The forehead is broad and fine, rising at first almost straight and then sloping back above two bumps or ridges wide apart, such a forehead that the reddish hair cannot possibly tumble over it, but falls naturally back and to the sides. Big, dark blue eyes are set widely apart, and are quick and tender or stern with the man’s moods.”
If you can read through that without zoning out, you must be on Adderall — and that’s leaving aside the issue of specific details that are just silly (sensitive nostrils?). If that description coheres for you into anything approximating a human being, your brain just does not work like mine does. All I see when I read that description is Mr. Potato Head.
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